Like....Whoa.

Oh man oh man oh man oh man. I went to Burning Man. 50,000 people in the desert making art and music and magic in a temporary city and then burning it all down.
Heck yes.
How do I even begin?
Rob dropped me off at Bruno's Bar and Casino in Gerlach Nevada where I met up with a guy named Paul (who I found on the internet...sketchy, I know) and his family. It took us all night to make it through the gates at sunrise, where the greeters welcomed me home, had me roll in the playa dust and ring the virgin bell. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Well I had ideas but they were mostly wrong. The week was dynamic, beginning with a deep loneliness and utter confusion, and ending with sublime lucidity and a heart bursting with love. Love for the desert, the dust and the wind and fire, and for the people who shared it with me.
I will not pretend to be able to tell you much about it, but I will mention a few highlights (check out the BM website...they do a good job of describing the event in general, and have some amazing photo albums).
#1-The storms. You're riding your bike out into the desert to find a flame throwing hot pink dinosaur when all of the sudden you cannot see three feet in front of you. You quickly put a bandana over your face and turn to face directly into the dust carrying 50mph wind. Your body says "OMG WTF get outta here!!" but you keep riding, barely missing the guy in nothing but a tutu, and then out of the dust comes a giant Pirate ship bumping awesome music and serving ice cold margaritas. Thank you pirates.
#2- The fire. Fire is not just a big part of burning man. It is not simply a theme or even an obsession. It is god. There are hundreds of fire dancers, breathers and tamers. Giant sculptures shooting flames high into the night sky, gentle temples lovingly lit by rings of fire, people parachuting down trailed by fire. The fire gives all and consumes all.
#3- The dancing. By day three I was doing ecstatic dances with the Hare Krishnas, salsa with the neighbors and african with some of the best drummers I have ever encountered. One blissful moment after the man burned I looked around to see who I was dancing with: An african woman painted like the Masai, a Colombian man in a sequined evening gown and arab head wrap, a unicorn and a naked man in a viking helmet. And we were dancing like we had been dancing together for lifetimes. Perhaps we had been.

I fell in love with many and many fell in love with me. We shared everything. We washed each others hair, hand and feet. We cooked for eachother, listened to each others' secrets and stayed up all night staring at the brilliant milky way. It was like the best party ever, summer camp and Christmas had a sinful and solemn threesome. I highly recommend it. Watch this:

Now, in Eugene with Rob and Penny, I am exhausted and relieved. Refreshed and filled with courage and hope.

Now all we have to do is figure out how (and if) we can find a life here. It feels like we can. Today we went to Terwilliger hot springs, aka paradise. In the wet and verdent jungle the hot spring water flowed into a series of natural pools where men, women and children bathed naked and shameless. I spotted the mark of Burning Man on a child's arm and struck up a conversation with his father, a Eugene local called "Cookie Dave" who serves goodies at the Saturday market. I am pretty sure he offered me a job. Things are really looking up.